Favre Be It For Pun City To Comment

As you may know, there's a certain retired Green Bay Packer that has been in the news a lot lately. The rest of the nation seems to care more about the Brett Favre saga than Wisconsin does, so for the rest of the nation's benefit, here's what your Average Wisconsin Joe is thinking.

Q: What do you think of this whole Brett Favre situation?

A: Messy, a tough situation for both sides. Both could have probably handled it better but at this point we mainly just want a resolution (as long as Favre doesn't end up with the Bears or Vikings).

Q: Do you want Brett Favre to comeback?

A: Yes, in general this isn't a problem. If it means coming back in division, that's not cool, but it seems like the Packers won't let that happen anyway (as they shouldn't).

Q: If Favre comes back to the Packers, would you welcome him?

A: Definitely.

Q: If Favre comes back to the Packers, should he start or should Aaron Rodgers?

A: Wisconsin doesn't care. Whoever gets the job done. While it would be weird to see Favre holding a clipboard, this is much better than seeing Favre on another team.

Q: If Favre played against the Packers, who would you root for?

A: Oof, rough. Both, as much as possible. Slight edge to the Packers if it's close in the end.

Q: What are you going to do with all the Favre retirement commemorative stuff they came out with?

A: From that perspective, Wisconsin is hoping Favre stays retired. It'd be somewhat reminiscent of all of the "County Stadium 1953-1999" memorabilia that came out, only to see County Stadium forced into service for 2000 as well. If Favre plays again, the large amount of memorabilia would be weird, and too overproduced to have any great value.

Q: Given the acrimony between Favre and Packer management, will Favre go into the Hall of Fame as a Falcon or a Raven?

A: That's not funny.

What is funny is this pun: The model said the internet gave her a lot of exposure.

Marquette "aBuzz" With Excitement

Well, that was fast. Marquette hired Buzz Williams right away. A 5-day "search," which might have encompassed their entire campus, ended up picking Mr. Lightyear. He seemed like a good guy based on his press conference, but this blog is not thrilled with the hiring process. Not Williams's fault, granted, but here goes.

Number one - Okay, so you don't get Tony Bennett, Sean Miller, or Anthony Grant because they aren't interested. No one can blame you on that. That's a good reason to interview other candidates, like Wright State's Brad Brownell, Davidson's Bob McKillop, Southern Illinois's Chris Lowery, or Ohio State assistant John Groce. (As mentioned earlier on Pun City). By all accounts, it doesn't look like Marquette ever made any overtures toward these candidates. Which brings us to....

Number two - In five days, with most coaches in San Antonio for the Final Four and coaches convention, there's no chance they interviewed any of them. Buzz Williams may end up being a phenomenal coach. However, no one is of the opinion that Buzz Williams was a hot coaching name yesterday. There was no reason to move this quickly and "snatch up" Williams before someone else did. Pun City is not condemning the choice of Buzz Williams. Pun City is condemning the choice of Buzz Williams in 5 days without a national search. If they made the search, took another week, and still ended up with Williams, this blog would have been satisfied.

The 5-day "search" screams either "lazy" or "held hostage by 18-year-olds," depending on whether you believe they wanted to keep continuity by hiring an assistant with 9 months on the job; or if you believe they wanted to keep all of their incoming recruits at the expense of a better game coach. (Pun City would say Lowery, Brownell, and McKillop are all better game coaches. If they all turned MU down, be this blog's guest, hire Williams).

This blog has a hard time believing anyone came away from MU's search thinking, "That was really thorough." Oh well, Williams seems cool enough to take over. Problem is, if he's not at the level of some of the coaches MU didn't interview, then he's not likely to last his 6-year contract. Best of luck, Buzz Williams, Marquette didn't do you any favors.

Pun City In 2008: Feel Free To Call It A Comeback

The U62 Telethon is on the air!

Always wanted to say that. Paraphrasing Stanley Spadowski, Pun City is back on the air. Sorry for the delay. Lots to cover here, so let's get cracking.

From the pun front:

People from Texas can be a bit Austintatious.

From the Tecmo front:

This blog finished up its Tecmo Super Bowl season where Pun City was trying to get every team to wind up 8-8. Some unexpected results there. First off, this blog was indeed successful in getting each team to 8-8. From there, Pun City had noticed/been informed by Ronk Romens that point differential was the second tie-breaker. Once Pun City was in week 17, it tried for some point differential ties as well. There were some successes on this front, including some nail-biters.

The first game of week 17 was Kansas City versus the Los Angeles Raiders. The Chiefs were sitting at +183 on the point differential, and 8-7 in record. The Raiders were 7-8 in record, +85 in point differential. So....doing the math for you, if the Raiders beat the Chiefs by 34, the two teams would tie in both record and point differential. Fortunately Pun City was able to pull off the feat, and after all other games were played, the AFC West Division standings showed the following lines:
1. Rai 8-8
1. KC 8-8
2. SD 8-8
3. Den 8-8
4. Sea 8-8

Similar ties were able to be accomplished in the AFC East, where the Bills and Dolphins tied at 8-8 and +90, and this blog was also able to get the AFC Central champion Pittsburgh Steelers to +90 on differential also.

In the NFC East, the Giants and Eagles tied at +79, and though the NFC West race wasn't close with the 49ers winning by 163 points, the NFC Central was close going into the last game. The Green Bay Packers were taking on the Minnesota Vikings. If Green Bay was able to beat Minnesota by exactly 30, the Vikings would fall into a tie with the Chicago Bears at +121. Leading by 27, the Packers gained possession of the ball on the 50 yard line with 45 seconds remaining, and proceeded to run off 29 ineffectual seconds, advancing only to the 39. Pun City knew that 16 Tecmo seconds was not very much, but figured there was just enough time for one pass play. Don Majkowski found a streaking Ed West down the sideline, who caught the ball with 2 seconds remaining and ran out of bounds at the 11 yard line with 1 second remaining. From there, Chris Jacke hit a 28-yard Field Goal to clinch the Bears-Vikings tie. After checking the game statistics, Pun City let the fireworks ensue.

Tecmo aficionados know that the "division champion" graphics normally show up when a team clinches the division based on record. With all teams having the same record in this season, that wasn't going to happen. Another quirk of Tecmo is that it will wait until a week is completely over before declaring any tie-breaker division champions. Given this knowledge, Pun City knew that all six division champion graphics would be appearing in sequence, and this blog would find out a) If Tecmo could handle a 3rd tie-breaker, and b) Potentially what that was. There was also a good possibility of finding out c) How to put out a fire started by a smoking Nintendo.

As it turned out, the screen flashed across Buffalo Bills, Pittsburgh Steelers, Los Angeles Raiders, New York Giants, Minnesota Vikings, and San Francisco 49ers as division champions; with the Miami Dolphins, New York Jets, Kansas City Chiefs, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, and Detroit Lions as wild cards.

This meant that indeed Tecmo Super Bowl can handle a 3rd tie-breaker, and it turned out to be total points scored. Pun City enjoyed the project, but getting two teams to have the same number of wins, points scored, and points against is a tough nut to crack.

Lastly, from the college basketball front:

This blog was at the Marquette-Savannah State game in Milwaukee's Bradley Center last Saturday. This was fun, but just prior to the game this blog had some business to do. Pun City had been listening to the Wisconsin-Texas game on the radio on the way down, and was very much interested in tracking the result. The Bacardi Club in the concourse was a huge disappointment and was not showing the game on any of their 3 flatscreen TVs. Fortunately, just down the hall, a normal cathode ray TV was displaying the game. A crowd had gathered around the screen, probably about 15. The group swelled to about 20 before the end of the game. What followed was a pleasant surprise for Pun City. As you may be aware, Marquette and Wisconsin are arch-rivals, so Pun City was expecting at least a minority of the watchers to be rooting against the Badgers. This wasn't outwardly noticeable, however. And when Michael Flowers hit the game-winning shot to put Texas away with 2.7 seconds remaining, the entire group let out a genuine, giant cheer. Maybe they were just happy that Marquette's RPI was being raised, maybe they found Wisconsin to be the lesser of two evils, hopefully they were happy for the state of basketball in Wisconsin, but Pun City is happy to report that they cheered. Mad props Marquette fans.

Let The Pun Shine

No regular post tonight, it was too nice of a day so Pun City was soaking up all the punshine.

Here's a brief pun to hold you over.

The two Christmas trees exchanged boughs in a well-attended marriage ceremony.

Eggstreme Post!

Hey, full post will be delayed a night, this blog was busy for the evening.

Here's some puns to tide you over. Over easy that is:

Eggsactly how do you expect to make the grade?

With more time in the morning, your chances of eating a balanced breakfast rise eggsponetially. Much more than when you're scrambling.

Are these pans reggulation size or what?

The chicken coop is run in a very eggalitarian manner.

In order to find the best chicken feed, they've run reggression testing.

That's all Pun City's got for today, back tomorrow with a better post. Hopefully it doesn't lay an egg.

Jianlian-g Story Short...

Man-yi Milwauk-yi-area readers were intrigued by the saga of Bucks number one pick Yi Jianlian. The following is Pun City's take on the situation, from beginning to end.

Jianlian yi-nitially refused to work out for the Bucks, their most recent scouting was at an yi-vent in Qatar where Jianlian's Chinese team had played. Yi-ven without having seen Jianlian in the pr-yi-ceeding couple weeks, Milwaukee took him with the 5th overall pick.

This was very un-yi-xpected. Jianlian had yi-mplied that he wasn't going to agr-yi to terms with the Bucks if they drafted him. Naturally, pand-yi-monium ensued. Yi-rroneous reports from China yi-ndicated that Jianlian would never sign with the Bucks. This threatened to become an yi-nternational incident. Commentators thought Jianlian's d-yi-mands were too much, given that only a few NBA cit-yi-es were capable of m-yi-ting his r-yi-quest of playing in an area with a s-yi-gnificant Chinese population. Was Jianlian trying to be yi-vil? There threatened to be an yi-mpasse in n-yi-gotiations.

NBA Commissioner David Stern was asked to interv-yi-ne, but like Jianlian, he was yi-vasive when asked to comment on the yi-ssue. This was going to b-yi-come a ver-yi political situation, the American and Chinese yi-conomies were both going to be yi-nfluenced by the n-yi-gotiations.

Jianlian only had a few options though.

1. B-yi-come a Buck by signing with them.

2. D-yi-mand a trade to another team, find a team willing to give the Bucks an yi-ven trade, and play for them.

3. Play in another countr-yi next year, in which case his rights would still be owned by Milwaukee, m-yi-ning he'd have the same pr-yi-dicament next yi-r.

4. Sit out an entire year, then r-yi-enter the draft next year, most likely falling b-yi-low his current value, possibly becoming yi-rrelevant in the process.

Obv-yi-ously the Bucks would pr-yi-fer option one, given the choice. They put all of their yi-fforts into convincing Jianlian to sign, yi-ven sending owner (and US Senator) Herb Kohl to m-yi-t the rookie and his jianlian-tourage.

Stunningl-yi, after s-yi-rious talks were held, the two sides reached an agr-yi-ment. Bucks management was yi-lated. Bucks fans were rel-yi-ved, as Milwaukee's first round pick hadn't been a mistake. Plus, after a few months, they'd had yi-nough. It wasn't yi-sy, but after promising Jianlian would play at l-yi-st 20 minutes a game, the Bucks got their man. Now Jianlian can only hope that he yi-clipses expectations and b-yi-comes a rook-yi of the yi-r candidate.

Man, if this blog got paid 5 cents for each one of these, it'd be making so much bread, since it'd have a pun-per-nickel. Pun Cit-yi will l-yi-ve you alone now.

Armchair Quarterback Stats - Tecmo Super Bowl

Last week's post worked pretty well, not too much notable information from the 8-8 season yet (this blog lost a game to the Bears when playing with the Bucccaneers, so it will need to play with the Buccaneers again during the rematch, that's been the only hiccup), so this blog is going to draw up some more Super Tecmo nuggets it discovered while playing a season with each team. This week, statistics on the Quarterbacks:


-Easily the most oft-injured quarterback was Randall Cunningham (QB Eagles), who had 9 injuries and was out a total of 70 quarters. A distant second and third were Don Majkowski with 6 injuries and 46 quarters, and Billy Joe Tolliver with 5 injuries and 49 quarters.


-The only backup quarterback to get injured was Marc Wilson. This was probably because he was the only backup QB to play the whole season. This blog didn't want to suffer through any Steve Grogan games. Grogan, while infinitely better in real life, was somehow worse than his backup Wilson on Super Tecmo Bowl.


-3 QBs returned onside kicks for TDs. Rodney Peete did it when Pun City was controlling him, and Randall Cunningham and Steve Walsh did it for the computer.


Records Set By Pun City:

• Completions: Dave Krieg, 175
• Touchdown Passes: Jim Everett and Wade Wilson, 61
• Fewest Interceptions: John Elway, 1 in 150 attempts
• Average Yds. Per Attempt: Warren Moon, 24.2
• Completion Percentage: Jim Kelly, 86.7%
• QB Rating: Jim Kelly, 292.7
• Rushing Attempts: Randall Cunningham, 134
• Rushing Yards: Randall Cunningham, 1603
• Yards per carry (min 80 carries): Randall Cunningham, 11.9
• Rushing TDs: Randall Cunningham, 31
• Points: Randall Cunningham, 186

Records Set By The Computer:

• Passing Attempts: Don Majkowski, 281
• Most Interceptions: Don Majkowski and Bernie Kosar, 32
• Passing Yards: Warren Moon, 4542
• Fumble Recovery TD: Dan Marino, 1
• Combined Yards: Warren Moon, 4813

Next time this blog revisits Tecmo Super Bowl, there will likely be a look at the defensive side of the ball. Kickers and Punters might be up as well. For the time being, enjoy this awesomely pun-tastic commercial:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aL6ysSActVU

Phonograph Lifts Its Needle, Pun City Reports

In a move that sent shockwaves throughout the blogging community, Phonograph founder Aaron "A.J." "Ronk" Romens decided to hang up the keyboard this week and posted his last Phonograph update. This means that both Ronk and wife Sarah will be ambling off into the big blogocube sunset. Pun City was fortunate enough to get an interview with each of the two equally important parts of Phonograph. These are their stories. (And by the way, some punk blogs might split this into a 2-part series. Pun City don't play that. If you want it in 2 parts, just read one interview and come back later).

Part I - Sarah

Pun City: First off, aside from your comment on Phonograph, anything you'd like to say to Phonograph readers?

Sarah Romens: Yes, I'd like to reiterate a big "thanks" for reading and for talking to us about specific posts. Aaron unfortunately couldn't keep up with comments on the actual blog, but it was always so fun to hear from friends and family about posts they liked.

Pun City: Word. Most readers are fairly familiar that you filled in for Ronk on multiple occasions. Do you consider that a stepping stone to one day entering the blogosphere on your own?

Sarah Romens: I really enjoyed manning the blog while he was away, but I don't think I would want to do it long term. Too much pressure!

Pun City: Understandable. This seems like a situation where Ronk's retirement, in a manner, also forces you into a retirement of your own. Can you think of any parallels this might have with any other real-world situation?

Sarah Romens: Oh, man, what a set up. And yet, I can't think of anything. Help?

Pun City: Actually, Pun City couldn't think of any itself. (This blog) was trying to leave this to the professionals. Um, Steve Irwin getting killed maybe?

Sarah Romens: Oh sad...too soon, man.

Pun City: Ah yes. (This blog) will have to replace that with some War of 1812 humor when (it) goes to print.

Sarah Romens: Ha ha, yes, I think we might be emotionally ready for that.

Pun City: (take 2): Those crazy Canadians, thinking they can run all amok with their muskets and such, what a bunch of buffoons, eh?

Sarah Romens: Tell me about it! Although, those Brits really smoked us with the whole burning down our capitol thing, eh?

Pun City: Bitches

Pun City: But good pun though

Pun City: That plays well with our demographic

Sarah Romens: I would imagine it would have to!

Pun City: What would be your favorite Phonograph moment, and specifically (if it differs) your favorite Phonograph moment while you were writing?

Sarah Romens: Oh, that is very difficult. I think my favorite is Aaron's Halloween adventure story, with pictures.

Pun City: That was a good one, very Civil of him.

Sarah Romens: And when I was writing? I just don't know. I think I'm too close to it.

Pun City: Ah, so none of your posts were pranks where you had everyone going for a minute, no palindromes you tried to sneak past everyone?

Sarah Romens: Unforunately, I am not a citizen of Pun City, so I do not share that gift.

Pun City: Well, wouldn't be a gift if we all shared it. By the way, that was a good plug earlier (with the link and all) too. Will the Romenses be raking in royalties from Phonograph-related merchandise or Google Ads in the future?

Sarah Romens: We are in the design stage of limited edition Phonograph-brand phonographs - we think they'll be a hot selling item. You know, for kids.

Pun City: Sounds phon-tastic. Any spawn of Pun City will need to have one of these!

Pun City: One last question before Pun City lets you go here....

Sarah Romens: Serve it up!

Pun City: If you were a club sandwich, how much guff would you take from two punk mail packages?

Sarah Romens: Very little guff. I'd say maybe two, two and a half guffs. After all, I'm delicious, aren't I?

Pun City: No question about that, sandwhich brings us to our conclusion. Thanks a lot for your help, and best of luck in "retirement." See you on the shuffleboard court!

Sarah Romens: No problem! Expect Aaron's pants to migrate up to the armpits shortly.

Pun City: Hahaha, moreso than usual?

Sarah Romens: Well, there is a bit of a ceiling effect . But now the pants can be polyester!

Pun City: Haha, ah yes, definitely looking forward to that one. The April shower of Phonograph going offline brings the May flower of Ronk in polyester pants, phenomenal!

Part II - Ronk

Pun City: Well, first off, anything you'd like to say to your readers that you or the bulldogs didn't already say?

Ronk Romens: No, I think the bulldogs and I made everything pretty clear.

Pun City: Yeah, we get it, you won't negotiate with terrorists, enough already.

Ronk Romens: Ha ha ha ha. Exactly.

Pun City: What would you describe as your favorite "Phonograph moment"?

Ronk Romens: Being quoted in and linked to a Slate article, while my law school professor was quoted in the same article, and not linked. She went on to whine about it. That was pretty cool.

Pun City: At this point, do you think she has come-uppance, now that she has a better case for calling Phonograph a "Fly-by-night" blog?

Ronk Romens: Hold on one sec

(At this point, Pun City waited 2 hours and 31 minutes, and Ronk Romens pre-screened Spiderman 3)

Ronk Romens: Thomas Hayden Church was excellent.

Pun City: On that note, did the great power Phonograph provided you also come with great responsibility?

Ronk Romens: No. Surprisingly, it came with very, very little responsibility. Probably because the great power was mostly delusional.

Pun City: Very cool. That could never apply to Pun City, (this blog has) nothing to learn from that. Do you have any plans for Phonograph-related merchandise in the future, other than the limited-edition Phonograph brand Phonographs that Sarah told me about?

Ronk Romens: I am not sure, there will probably be merchandizing if I can get a Hollywood deal for "Phonograph: The Movie," but probably not until then.

Pun City: Fair enough. Given your choice, who would play the lead in that one?

Ronk Romens: Clearly, Thomas Hayden Church.

Pun City: Good choice, (this blog) heard he was excellent in Spiderman 3.

Ronk Romens: Indeed.

Pun City: My next question relates a little to the Pun City demographic. What would be your coolest fast-food experience? And, are you planning to repeat this type of experience more often now that you're riding off into the sunset?

Ronk Romens: Oh my, I have quite a few. First, there used to be an A & W drive-in in a town ten minutes away from my house. I loved going there as a kid. That was probably my favorite. Also near the top is eating something called the Octoburger, which was constructed out of eight double cheesburgers from Wendy's. I hope to never repeat that again.

Pun City: Hahaha, alright, (this blog) could see that. (Pun City is) not sure you're totally aware of this, but your retirement effectively pushes Sarah into retirement as well. Have you ever forced anyone else into retirement before, for instance, the inventor of the Octoburger?

Ronk Romens: Well, a long time ago, there was this really awful band, and I'd like to think I forced them into retirement... it's a long story.

Pun City: Hahahahaha. That story is something Pun City would thoroughly enjoy revisiting some time with you, if you get the chance between shuffleboard matches and shopping for polyester pants.

Ronk Romens: Yes, no problem. There will be time. One can buy only so many pairs of polyester pants on a fixed income.

Pun City: Isn't that the truth. Well, one last question before (this blog lets) you go....If you were a shrimp sensation at Applebee's, would you be sautéed, crisp fried, or fire grilled?

Ronk Romens: Hmmm,,, I don't care, as long as they are served on a handy skewer.

Pun City: (This blog thinks) that's a good outlook to have. Given that response, you're free to freelance on Pun City any time you'd like.

Ronk Romens: Well, thank you very much. Perhaps I will sometime. I have always wanted to refer to my self in third-person-blog.

So there you have it folks, hard-hitting reporting, a staple of the Pun City experience, and hard-hitting answers from the creators of Phonograph.

Pun-t

This blog totally forgot it was a post night. Hopefully there's rectification tomorrow. For now, some puns to hold you over:

The man giving colored wax to radio stations so they would play his song was indicted today on charges of Crayola.

In college basketball news, it was just announced that Wisconsin will be Duking it out next year.

This blog's friend got into a fajita'd discussion with the fiery waiter at Chili's.

People are getting tired of Shelling out this much for gas.

Disney introduced a new all-sports channel specifically aimed at the illegal immigrant market. It will be known as ESPN Deporteds.

Live Long as Props Purr.

This blog is a little busy this evening so it is posting a subpar blog. Suitable posts to come will be on the UWM, Marquette, and Wisconsin basketball student sections; as well as another "pass analysis" on UWM's recent contest vs. Youngstown State at home. (This blog wasn't going to save that one, but it's 15 days until their next home game, so it works out that this site uses the spacing).

What this blog does have, living up to its name, are some bad puns.

The following conversation is sort of an actual conversation this blog had while swabbing the deck with another actual deck swabber, after this blog had been given "mad props." (Which happens all the time on the ship). This blog hadn't yet made a pun, and its co-worker was looking for one:

Fellow Deck Swabber: I thought you'd come up with something funny.

Pun City: So you're saying that answer was prop plain?

Fellow Deck Swabber: I don't understand that.

Pun City: A prop plane is a variety of aircraft

Fellow Deck Swabber: Oh.

Pun City: Was that ina-prop-riate?

Fellow Deck Swabber: Oh, getting better.

Pun City: I don't know how long I can prop this up.

Fellow Deck Swabber: Keep going.

Pun City: Prop-ably for a few more I suppose.

Pun City: Anything over 10 would be prop-lematic.

Fellow Deck Swabber: And....

Pun City: If the author of "The Raven" was reading this conversation, that would be Ap-prop-Poe.

Fellow Deck Swabber: Now build on that.

Pun City: Poe folks don't usually protect their intellectual prop-erty.

Fellow Deck Swabber: Oh, that was superb. You can stop now.

Pun City: Phew, as long as I have permission from the prop-prietor of this conversation.

Fellow Deck Swabber: Ah, a bonus.

Pun City: I thought it only proper.

Fellow Deck Swabber: I'm going to lunch now.

This blog thanks the fellow deck swabber for sacrificing in the name of modest humor. All proceeds generated from this post will be split between Pun City and the fellow swabber.