Phonograph Lifts Its Needle, Pun City Reports

In a move that sent shockwaves throughout the blogging community, Phonograph founder Aaron "A.J." "Ronk" Romens decided to hang up the keyboard this week and posted his last Phonograph update. This means that both Ronk and wife Sarah will be ambling off into the big blogocube sunset. Pun City was fortunate enough to get an interview with each of the two equally important parts of Phonograph. These are their stories. (And by the way, some punk blogs might split this into a 2-part series. Pun City don't play that. If you want it in 2 parts, just read one interview and come back later).

Part I - Sarah

Pun City: First off, aside from your comment on Phonograph, anything you'd like to say to Phonograph readers?

Sarah Romens: Yes, I'd like to reiterate a big "thanks" for reading and for talking to us about specific posts. Aaron unfortunately couldn't keep up with comments on the actual blog, but it was always so fun to hear from friends and family about posts they liked.

Pun City: Word. Most readers are fairly familiar that you filled in for Ronk on multiple occasions. Do you consider that a stepping stone to one day entering the blogosphere on your own?

Sarah Romens: I really enjoyed manning the blog while he was away, but I don't think I would want to do it long term. Too much pressure!

Pun City: Understandable. This seems like a situation where Ronk's retirement, in a manner, also forces you into a retirement of your own. Can you think of any parallels this might have with any other real-world situation?

Sarah Romens: Oh, man, what a set up. And yet, I can't think of anything. Help?

Pun City: Actually, Pun City couldn't think of any itself. (This blog) was trying to leave this to the professionals. Um, Steve Irwin getting killed maybe?

Sarah Romens: Oh sad...too soon, man.

Pun City: Ah yes. (This blog) will have to replace that with some War of 1812 humor when (it) goes to print.

Sarah Romens: Ha ha, yes, I think we might be emotionally ready for that.

Pun City: (take 2): Those crazy Canadians, thinking they can run all amok with their muskets and such, what a bunch of buffoons, eh?

Sarah Romens: Tell me about it! Although, those Brits really smoked us with the whole burning down our capitol thing, eh?

Pun City: Bitches

Pun City: But good pun though

Pun City: That plays well with our demographic

Sarah Romens: I would imagine it would have to!

Pun City: What would be your favorite Phonograph moment, and specifically (if it differs) your favorite Phonograph moment while you were writing?

Sarah Romens: Oh, that is very difficult. I think my favorite is Aaron's Halloween adventure story, with pictures.

Pun City: That was a good one, very Civil of him.

Sarah Romens: And when I was writing? I just don't know. I think I'm too close to it.

Pun City: Ah, so none of your posts were pranks where you had everyone going for a minute, no palindromes you tried to sneak past everyone?

Sarah Romens: Unforunately, I am not a citizen of Pun City, so I do not share that gift.

Pun City: Well, wouldn't be a gift if we all shared it. By the way, that was a good plug earlier (with the link and all) too. Will the Romenses be raking in royalties from Phonograph-related merchandise or Google Ads in the future?

Sarah Romens: We are in the design stage of limited edition Phonograph-brand phonographs - we think they'll be a hot selling item. You know, for kids.

Pun City: Sounds phon-tastic. Any spawn of Pun City will need to have one of these!

Pun City: One last question before Pun City lets you go here....

Sarah Romens: Serve it up!

Pun City: If you were a club sandwich, how much guff would you take from two punk mail packages?

Sarah Romens: Very little guff. I'd say maybe two, two and a half guffs. After all, I'm delicious, aren't I?

Pun City: No question about that, sandwhich brings us to our conclusion. Thanks a lot for your help, and best of luck in "retirement." See you on the shuffleboard court!

Sarah Romens: No problem! Expect Aaron's pants to migrate up to the armpits shortly.

Pun City: Hahaha, moreso than usual?

Sarah Romens: Well, there is a bit of a ceiling effect . But now the pants can be polyester!

Pun City: Haha, ah yes, definitely looking forward to that one. The April shower of Phonograph going offline brings the May flower of Ronk in polyester pants, phenomenal!

Part II - Ronk

Pun City: Well, first off, anything you'd like to say to your readers that you or the bulldogs didn't already say?

Ronk Romens: No, I think the bulldogs and I made everything pretty clear.

Pun City: Yeah, we get it, you won't negotiate with terrorists, enough already.

Ronk Romens: Ha ha ha ha. Exactly.

Pun City: What would you describe as your favorite "Phonograph moment"?

Ronk Romens: Being quoted in and linked to a Slate article, while my law school professor was quoted in the same article, and not linked. She went on to whine about it. That was pretty cool.

Pun City: At this point, do you think she has come-uppance, now that she has a better case for calling Phonograph a "Fly-by-night" blog?

Ronk Romens: Hold on one sec

(At this point, Pun City waited 2 hours and 31 minutes, and Ronk Romens pre-screened Spiderman 3)

Ronk Romens: Thomas Hayden Church was excellent.

Pun City: On that note, did the great power Phonograph provided you also come with great responsibility?

Ronk Romens: No. Surprisingly, it came with very, very little responsibility. Probably because the great power was mostly delusional.

Pun City: Very cool. That could never apply to Pun City, (this blog has) nothing to learn from that. Do you have any plans for Phonograph-related merchandise in the future, other than the limited-edition Phonograph brand Phonographs that Sarah told me about?

Ronk Romens: I am not sure, there will probably be merchandizing if I can get a Hollywood deal for "Phonograph: The Movie," but probably not until then.

Pun City: Fair enough. Given your choice, who would play the lead in that one?

Ronk Romens: Clearly, Thomas Hayden Church.

Pun City: Good choice, (this blog) heard he was excellent in Spiderman 3.

Ronk Romens: Indeed.

Pun City: My next question relates a little to the Pun City demographic. What would be your coolest fast-food experience? And, are you planning to repeat this type of experience more often now that you're riding off into the sunset?

Ronk Romens: Oh my, I have quite a few. First, there used to be an A & W drive-in in a town ten minutes away from my house. I loved going there as a kid. That was probably my favorite. Also near the top is eating something called the Octoburger, which was constructed out of eight double cheesburgers from Wendy's. I hope to never repeat that again.

Pun City: Hahaha, alright, (this blog) could see that. (Pun City is) not sure you're totally aware of this, but your retirement effectively pushes Sarah into retirement as well. Have you ever forced anyone else into retirement before, for instance, the inventor of the Octoburger?

Ronk Romens: Well, a long time ago, there was this really awful band, and I'd like to think I forced them into retirement... it's a long story.

Pun City: Hahahahaha. That story is something Pun City would thoroughly enjoy revisiting some time with you, if you get the chance between shuffleboard matches and shopping for polyester pants.

Ronk Romens: Yes, no problem. There will be time. One can buy only so many pairs of polyester pants on a fixed income.

Pun City: Isn't that the truth. Well, one last question before (this blog lets) you go....If you were a shrimp sensation at Applebee's, would you be sautéed, crisp fried, or fire grilled?

Ronk Romens: Hmmm,,, I don't care, as long as they are served on a handy skewer.

Pun City: (This blog thinks) that's a good outlook to have. Given that response, you're free to freelance on Pun City any time you'd like.

Ronk Romens: Well, thank you very much. Perhaps I will sometime. I have always wanted to refer to my self in third-person-blog.

So there you have it folks, hard-hitting reporting, a staple of the Pun City experience, and hard-hitting answers from the creators of Phonograph.