A.J. Romens is Back: More Like Superman or Tupac?

Editor's note: (And this blog uses the term "Editor" very loosely) - Former Phonograph editor A.J. "Ronk" Romens is back tonight with a topic of great concern. Enjoy!

Thanks to Brian for letting me guest blog. There’s some stuff I need to talk about…

So, there’s this girl who doesn’t wear any pants.

I first encountered her about three weeks ago. She was moving into the downstairs apartment in a friend’s building. I was over there to view a couple Quantum Leap episodes. You see, I’m unemployed and I’ve been spending the summer trying to watch the entire NBC series featuring Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell… I am getting off track.

When I arrived, she was moving a couch and other large objects out of the apartment, with the help of an apparent roommate and some older company. She was lifting, squatting, bending over and all the other required motions for moving things, and she was doing them all pantsless.

Let me describe exactly what she was wearing. The top half of her was covered in one of those empire shirts. I am no expert in today’s fashion, but I have seen many females wearing these tank-top-type shirts that start out tight around the chest-region (nothing wrong with that) then become loose and flow-y, as if to cover up a pregnancy or a doughnut habit.

These shirts are popular these days. All the girls are wearing them. This one girl, however, was wearing it as a dress.

Fortunately, this girl is not a washed up skank-lebrity, so she was wearing underwear.

After thinking about this for some time, I concluded that she must have taken off her pants because they were too cumbersome to the moving process. I saw her point and decided that my upcoming move would also be done pantsless. Anything for comfort and efficiency.

Then, last week, I encountered her again. She was again wearing the same kind of clothing, and, of course, sans-pants. But this time, she was not moving anything. Instead, she was eating shish cabob with some friends in front of the building. She was sitting on the steps in front of the stoop and her left knee was about a yard away from her right knee. And in between: the blinding glare of unobstructed pink underwear.

As I approached to walk by her and enter the door, her position didn’t change. I tried not to stare, but a display like that is like a car-accident and a solar eclipse happening simultaneously in your back yard. You have to look.

So now I am at a loss why she refuses to wear pants. Is she a hippy? An exhibitionist? Trying to start a new fashion trend? I have no idea. Maybe I don’t want to know.

In other things eating away at my mind:

-- I think I figured out how to build a death-proof airplane. First, take that giant 500 seat Airbus plane, and remove all but 8 seats. This will be the passenger area. Next, protect the passenger area in a roll cage made out of solid titanium and other hard things. Finally, make the rest of the plane “crumple zone.” While the pilots would die in a horrible crumpling tragedy, at least the eight passengers would be safe. Average ticket price on this airplane: $150,000.

-- There should be a reality show like NBC’s “Age of Love” that features 40 year old women, 20 year old woman, and one “Wild Card:” a mature-looking 15 year old girl that could send the reality show’s star to a federal penitentiary for 20 years. That would be compelling television.

Thanks a lot to Ronk for stopping by, hopefully he can do that again. Pun City would like to go on record as saying it is a strong proponent of the "Wild Card" suggestion but a much stronger supporter of pantsless girls.

Pun City Reserves The Conference Room

Had a chance to cruise NCAA Basketball sites this weekend, found some interesting links.

This isn't really a link, but Pun City might be "breaking" the story that the West Coast Conference is holding their Conference tournament in San Diego for 2008. This will be at the Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of the University of San Diego. This was confirmed with a representative from the WCC office over the phone last week.

BYU was one of the first schools in the country to release its non-conference schedule Here.

The Atlantic Sun announced Lipscomb will host the next two Atlantic Sun Men's Basketball championships here. Lipscomb is in Nashville, also home to Belmont, which hosted the 2004 and 2005 tournaments. Additionally, the A-Sun announced they would have streamed broadcast of their athletic contests available online, though it's unclear if it will be set up where the games are free like the Horizon League, or must be subscribed to for a price, like the Missouri Valley and SoCon.

Binghamton was announced as the host of the 2008 America East Men's Basketball tournament, at least until the title game, when it will go to the highest seed's home court (which could potentially still be Binghamton, Pun City supposes).

At this point this blog is strongly considering heading to a West Coast Conference - Mountain West Conference (with possible Big West or Pac-10 sidetrip) swing. The main problems with this trip would be the dearth of WCC tickets available to the general (read: non-10-year-season-ticket-holding) fans; and the potential expense of staying in San Diego and Las Vegas. WCC tickets would almost certainly need to be scalped, but this blog has seen a number of those games broadcast the last few years, and the only games that actually sell out would be those involving Gonzaga. It would be a mildly risky gambit going down there without tickets in hand, but this blog can't imagine missing too many games considering that there's a lot of "empty-seat supply" available down there.

A bonus would be that the Los Angeles (or Anaheim) side trip would be a fairly cheap side trip thanks to this blog's access to possibly free lodging for the evening. Pac-10 seats might not be too cheap though, which is why this blog might be apt to go back to the Big West instead (as you may know, this blog has been to both the Big West and Pac-10 previously, so no additional conference would be added on that particular "bonus" swing).

Other bonuses would include this blog's first trip to San Diego and Las Vegas, as well as the relative ease of getting good Mountain West seats (a very good value as far as conference tournaments are concerned). Beyond this, California is good for an In-N-Out Burger stop or three, plus Jack-In-The-Box.

In a total non-sequitor, here's a picture of Dirk Nowitzki playing tennis:

On a non-conference note, this blog found the following link to an outstanding Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana commercial from a few years back. Try and name the product it's advertising before the screen tells you, Boy Howdy it's a tough one.

Also of note, for those of you that enjoyed Phonograph - Pun City plans to have Phonograph creator AJ "Ronk" Romens stop by for a "guest blog" within the next few weeks. Possibly as early as next week. Pun City is handing over full editorial control to Ronk for whenever he stops in, so you never know what we might get from that, although one would guess whatever he comes up with should appeal to the audience (almost certainly more than this blog normally does, anyway).

Phonograph Lifts Its Needle, Pun City Reports

In a move that sent shockwaves throughout the blogging community, Phonograph founder Aaron "A.J." "Ronk" Romens decided to hang up the keyboard this week and posted his last Phonograph update. This means that both Ronk and wife Sarah will be ambling off into the big blogocube sunset. Pun City was fortunate enough to get an interview with each of the two equally important parts of Phonograph. These are their stories. (And by the way, some punk blogs might split this into a 2-part series. Pun City don't play that. If you want it in 2 parts, just read one interview and come back later).

Part I - Sarah

Pun City: First off, aside from your comment on Phonograph, anything you'd like to say to Phonograph readers?

Sarah Romens: Yes, I'd like to reiterate a big "thanks" for reading and for talking to us about specific posts. Aaron unfortunately couldn't keep up with comments on the actual blog, but it was always so fun to hear from friends and family about posts they liked.

Pun City: Word. Most readers are fairly familiar that you filled in for Ronk on multiple occasions. Do you consider that a stepping stone to one day entering the blogosphere on your own?

Sarah Romens: I really enjoyed manning the blog while he was away, but I don't think I would want to do it long term. Too much pressure!

Pun City: Understandable. This seems like a situation where Ronk's retirement, in a manner, also forces you into a retirement of your own. Can you think of any parallels this might have with any other real-world situation?

Sarah Romens: Oh, man, what a set up. And yet, I can't think of anything. Help?

Pun City: Actually, Pun City couldn't think of any itself. (This blog) was trying to leave this to the professionals. Um, Steve Irwin getting killed maybe?

Sarah Romens: Oh sad...too soon, man.

Pun City: Ah yes. (This blog) will have to replace that with some War of 1812 humor when (it) goes to print.

Sarah Romens: Ha ha, yes, I think we might be emotionally ready for that.

Pun City: (take 2): Those crazy Canadians, thinking they can run all amok with their muskets and such, what a bunch of buffoons, eh?

Sarah Romens: Tell me about it! Although, those Brits really smoked us with the whole burning down our capitol thing, eh?

Pun City: Bitches

Pun City: But good pun though

Pun City: That plays well with our demographic

Sarah Romens: I would imagine it would have to!

Pun City: What would be your favorite Phonograph moment, and specifically (if it differs) your favorite Phonograph moment while you were writing?

Sarah Romens: Oh, that is very difficult. I think my favorite is Aaron's Halloween adventure story, with pictures.

Pun City: That was a good one, very Civil of him.

Sarah Romens: And when I was writing? I just don't know. I think I'm too close to it.

Pun City: Ah, so none of your posts were pranks where you had everyone going for a minute, no palindromes you tried to sneak past everyone?

Sarah Romens: Unforunately, I am not a citizen of Pun City, so I do not share that gift.

Pun City: Well, wouldn't be a gift if we all shared it. By the way, that was a good plug earlier (with the link and all) too. Will the Romenses be raking in royalties from Phonograph-related merchandise or Google Ads in the future?

Sarah Romens: We are in the design stage of limited edition Phonograph-brand phonographs - we think they'll be a hot selling item. You know, for kids.

Pun City: Sounds phon-tastic. Any spawn of Pun City will need to have one of these!

Pun City: One last question before Pun City lets you go here....

Sarah Romens: Serve it up!

Pun City: If you were a club sandwich, how much guff would you take from two punk mail packages?

Sarah Romens: Very little guff. I'd say maybe two, two and a half guffs. After all, I'm delicious, aren't I?

Pun City: No question about that, sandwhich brings us to our conclusion. Thanks a lot for your help, and best of luck in "retirement." See you on the shuffleboard court!

Sarah Romens: No problem! Expect Aaron's pants to migrate up to the armpits shortly.

Pun City: Hahaha, moreso than usual?

Sarah Romens: Well, there is a bit of a ceiling effect . But now the pants can be polyester!

Pun City: Haha, ah yes, definitely looking forward to that one. The April shower of Phonograph going offline brings the May flower of Ronk in polyester pants, phenomenal!

Part II - Ronk

Pun City: Well, first off, anything you'd like to say to your readers that you or the bulldogs didn't already say?

Ronk Romens: No, I think the bulldogs and I made everything pretty clear.

Pun City: Yeah, we get it, you won't negotiate with terrorists, enough already.

Ronk Romens: Ha ha ha ha. Exactly.

Pun City: What would you describe as your favorite "Phonograph moment"?

Ronk Romens: Being quoted in and linked to a Slate article, while my law school professor was quoted in the same article, and not linked. She went on to whine about it. That was pretty cool.

Pun City: At this point, do you think she has come-uppance, now that she has a better case for calling Phonograph a "Fly-by-night" blog?

Ronk Romens: Hold on one sec

(At this point, Pun City waited 2 hours and 31 minutes, and Ronk Romens pre-screened Spiderman 3)

Ronk Romens: Thomas Hayden Church was excellent.

Pun City: On that note, did the great power Phonograph provided you also come with great responsibility?

Ronk Romens: No. Surprisingly, it came with very, very little responsibility. Probably because the great power was mostly delusional.

Pun City: Very cool. That could never apply to Pun City, (this blog has) nothing to learn from that. Do you have any plans for Phonograph-related merchandise in the future, other than the limited-edition Phonograph brand Phonographs that Sarah told me about?

Ronk Romens: I am not sure, there will probably be merchandizing if I can get a Hollywood deal for "Phonograph: The Movie," but probably not until then.

Pun City: Fair enough. Given your choice, who would play the lead in that one?

Ronk Romens: Clearly, Thomas Hayden Church.

Pun City: Good choice, (this blog) heard he was excellent in Spiderman 3.

Ronk Romens: Indeed.

Pun City: My next question relates a little to the Pun City demographic. What would be your coolest fast-food experience? And, are you planning to repeat this type of experience more often now that you're riding off into the sunset?

Ronk Romens: Oh my, I have quite a few. First, there used to be an A & W drive-in in a town ten minutes away from my house. I loved going there as a kid. That was probably my favorite. Also near the top is eating something called the Octoburger, which was constructed out of eight double cheesburgers from Wendy's. I hope to never repeat that again.

Pun City: Hahaha, alright, (this blog) could see that. (Pun City is) not sure you're totally aware of this, but your retirement effectively pushes Sarah into retirement as well. Have you ever forced anyone else into retirement before, for instance, the inventor of the Octoburger?

Ronk Romens: Well, a long time ago, there was this really awful band, and I'd like to think I forced them into retirement... it's a long story.

Pun City: Hahahahaha. That story is something Pun City would thoroughly enjoy revisiting some time with you, if you get the chance between shuffleboard matches and shopping for polyester pants.

Ronk Romens: Yes, no problem. There will be time. One can buy only so many pairs of polyester pants on a fixed income.

Pun City: Isn't that the truth. Well, one last question before (this blog lets) you go....If you were a shrimp sensation at Applebee's, would you be sautéed, crisp fried, or fire grilled?

Ronk Romens: Hmmm,,, I don't care, as long as they are served on a handy skewer.

Pun City: (This blog thinks) that's a good outlook to have. Given that response, you're free to freelance on Pun City any time you'd like.

Ronk Romens: Well, thank you very much. Perhaps I will sometime. I have always wanted to refer to my self in third-person-blog.

So there you have it folks, hard-hitting reporting, a staple of the Pun City experience, and hard-hitting answers from the creators of Phonograph.