A.J. Romens is Back: More Like Superman or Tupac?

Editor's note: (And this blog uses the term "Editor" very loosely) - Former Phonograph editor A.J. "Ronk" Romens is back tonight with a topic of great concern. Enjoy!

Thanks to Brian for letting me guest blog. There’s some stuff I need to talk about…

So, there’s this girl who doesn’t wear any pants.

I first encountered her about three weeks ago. She was moving into the downstairs apartment in a friend’s building. I was over there to view a couple Quantum Leap episodes. You see, I’m unemployed and I’ve been spending the summer trying to watch the entire NBC series featuring Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell… I am getting off track.

When I arrived, she was moving a couch and other large objects out of the apartment, with the help of an apparent roommate and some older company. She was lifting, squatting, bending over and all the other required motions for moving things, and she was doing them all pantsless.

Let me describe exactly what she was wearing. The top half of her was covered in one of those empire shirts. I am no expert in today’s fashion, but I have seen many females wearing these tank-top-type shirts that start out tight around the chest-region (nothing wrong with that) then become loose and flow-y, as if to cover up a pregnancy or a doughnut habit.

These shirts are popular these days. All the girls are wearing them. This one girl, however, was wearing it as a dress.

Fortunately, this girl is not a washed up skank-lebrity, so she was wearing underwear.

After thinking about this for some time, I concluded that she must have taken off her pants because they were too cumbersome to the moving process. I saw her point and decided that my upcoming move would also be done pantsless. Anything for comfort and efficiency.

Then, last week, I encountered her again. She was again wearing the same kind of clothing, and, of course, sans-pants. But this time, she was not moving anything. Instead, she was eating shish cabob with some friends in front of the building. She was sitting on the steps in front of the stoop and her left knee was about a yard away from her right knee. And in between: the blinding glare of unobstructed pink underwear.

As I approached to walk by her and enter the door, her position didn’t change. I tried not to stare, but a display like that is like a car-accident and a solar eclipse happening simultaneously in your back yard. You have to look.

So now I am at a loss why she refuses to wear pants. Is she a hippy? An exhibitionist? Trying to start a new fashion trend? I have no idea. Maybe I don’t want to know.

In other things eating away at my mind:

-- I think I figured out how to build a death-proof airplane. First, take that giant 500 seat Airbus plane, and remove all but 8 seats. This will be the passenger area. Next, protect the passenger area in a roll cage made out of solid titanium and other hard things. Finally, make the rest of the plane “crumple zone.” While the pilots would die in a horrible crumpling tragedy, at least the eight passengers would be safe. Average ticket price on this airplane: $150,000.

-- There should be a reality show like NBC’s “Age of Love” that features 40 year old women, 20 year old woman, and one “Wild Card:” a mature-looking 15 year old girl that could send the reality show’s star to a federal penitentiary for 20 years. That would be compelling television.

Thanks a lot to Ronk for stopping by, hopefully he can do that again. Pun City would like to go on record as saying it is a strong proponent of the "Wild Card" suggestion but a much stronger supporter of pantsless girls.

Pun City Reserves The Conference Room

Had a chance to cruise NCAA Basketball sites this weekend, found some interesting links.

This isn't really a link, but Pun City might be "breaking" the story that the West Coast Conference is holding their Conference tournament in San Diego for 2008. This will be at the Jenny Craig Pavilion on the campus of the University of San Diego. This was confirmed with a representative from the WCC office over the phone last week.

BYU was one of the first schools in the country to release its non-conference schedule Here.

The Atlantic Sun announced Lipscomb will host the next two Atlantic Sun Men's Basketball championships here. Lipscomb is in Nashville, also home to Belmont, which hosted the 2004 and 2005 tournaments. Additionally, the A-Sun announced they would have streamed broadcast of their athletic contests available online, though it's unclear if it will be set up where the games are free like the Horizon League, or must be subscribed to for a price, like the Missouri Valley and SoCon.

Binghamton was announced as the host of the 2008 America East Men's Basketball tournament, at least until the title game, when it will go to the highest seed's home court (which could potentially still be Binghamton, Pun City supposes).

At this point this blog is strongly considering heading to a West Coast Conference - Mountain West Conference (with possible Big West or Pac-10 sidetrip) swing. The main problems with this trip would be the dearth of WCC tickets available to the general (read: non-10-year-season-ticket-holding) fans; and the potential expense of staying in San Diego and Las Vegas. WCC tickets would almost certainly need to be scalped, but this blog has seen a number of those games broadcast the last few years, and the only games that actually sell out would be those involving Gonzaga. It would be a mildly risky gambit going down there without tickets in hand, but this blog can't imagine missing too many games considering that there's a lot of "empty-seat supply" available down there.

A bonus would be that the Los Angeles (or Anaheim) side trip would be a fairly cheap side trip thanks to this blog's access to possibly free lodging for the evening. Pac-10 seats might not be too cheap though, which is why this blog might be apt to go back to the Big West instead (as you may know, this blog has been to both the Big West and Pac-10 previously, so no additional conference would be added on that particular "bonus" swing).

Other bonuses would include this blog's first trip to San Diego and Las Vegas, as well as the relative ease of getting good Mountain West seats (a very good value as far as conference tournaments are concerned). Beyond this, California is good for an In-N-Out Burger stop or three, plus Jack-In-The-Box.

In a total non-sequitor, here's a picture of Dirk Nowitzki playing tennis:

On a non-conference note, this blog found the following link to an outstanding Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana commercial from a few years back. Try and name the product it's advertising before the screen tells you, Boy Howdy it's a tough one.

Also of note, for those of you that enjoyed Phonograph - Pun City plans to have Phonograph creator AJ "Ronk" Romens stop by for a "guest blog" within the next few weeks. Possibly as early as next week. Pun City is handing over full editorial control to Ronk for whenever he stops in, so you never know what we might get from that, although one would guess whatever he comes up with should appeal to the audience (almost certainly more than this blog normally does, anyway).