Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Jianlian-g Story Short...

Man-yi Milwauk-yi-area readers were intrigued by the saga of Bucks number one pick Yi Jianlian. The following is Pun City's take on the situation, from beginning to end.

Jianlian yi-nitially refused to work out for the Bucks, their most recent scouting was at an yi-vent in Qatar where Jianlian's Chinese team had played. Yi-ven without having seen Jianlian in the pr-yi-ceeding couple weeks, Milwaukee took him with the 5th overall pick.

This was very un-yi-xpected. Jianlian had yi-mplied that he wasn't going to agr-yi to terms with the Bucks if they drafted him. Naturally, pand-yi-monium ensued. Yi-rroneous reports from China yi-ndicated that Jianlian would never sign with the Bucks. This threatened to become an yi-nternational incident. Commentators thought Jianlian's d-yi-mands were too much, given that only a few NBA cit-yi-es were capable of m-yi-ting his r-yi-quest of playing in an area with a s-yi-gnificant Chinese population. Was Jianlian trying to be yi-vil? There threatened to be an yi-mpasse in n-yi-gotiations.

NBA Commissioner David Stern was asked to interv-yi-ne, but like Jianlian, he was yi-vasive when asked to comment on the yi-ssue. This was going to b-yi-come a ver-yi political situation, the American and Chinese yi-conomies were both going to be yi-nfluenced by the n-yi-gotiations.

Jianlian only had a few options though.

1. B-yi-come a Buck by signing with them.
2. D-yi-mand a trade to another team, find a team willing to give the Bucks an yi-ven trade, and play for them.
3. Play in another countr-yi next year, in which case his rights would still be owned by Milwaukee, m-yi-ning he'd have the same pr-yi-dicament next yi-r.
4. Sit out an entire year, then r-yi-enter the draft next year, most likely falling b-yi-low his current value, possibly becoming yi-rrelevant in the process.

Obv-yi-ously the Bucks would pr-yi-fer option one, given the choice. They put all of their yi-fforts into convincing Jianlian to sign, yi-ven sending owner (and US Senator) Herb Kohl to m-yi-t the rookie and his jianlian-tourage.

Stunningl-yi, after s-yi-rious talks were held, the two sides reached an agr-yi-ment. Bucks management was yi-lated. Bucks fans were rel-yi-ved, as Milwaukee's first round pick hadn't been a mistake. Plus, after a few months, they'd had yi-nough. It wasn't yi-sy, but after promising Jianlian would play at l-yi-st 20 minutes a game, the Bucks got their man. Now Jianlian can only hope that he yi-clipses expectations and b-yi-comes a rook-yi of the yi-r candidate.

Man, if this blog got paid 5 cents for each one of these, it'd be making so much bread, since it'd have a pun-per-nickel. Pun Cit-yi will l-yi-ve you alone now.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was an exhaust-yi-ng r-yi-d.

9:35 PM  

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