Let The Pun Shine

No regular post tonight, it was too nice of a day so Pun City was soaking up all the punshine.

Here's a brief pun to hold you over.

The two Christmas trees exchanged boughs in a well-attended marriage ceremony.

Tecmo Super Favorites: AFC

Good evening. Pun City was at an open practice for UWM tonight so there isn't a great deal of time here. But this blog does some alright work under pressure.

In a perfect world, Pun City would have drawn up a scouting report on how to defeat a specific team in Tecmo Super Bowl, as the first part in a 28-part series. This will wait for another day, Pun City needs to put some good effort into this, some pictures and bigtime research are in order for that.

In place of that, Pun City is going to rank teams in each Tecmo Super Bowl division, from the most preferred to play with, to the least-preferred. For tonight, the AFC:

AFC East

1. Bills
2. Dolphins
3. Colts
4. Patriots
5. Jets

The Bills, while very easy to win with, are mainly fun due to all-purpose monster Thurman Thomas. Three rushing plays with him plus a great receiver, not to mention the Bills' tough defense with about 4 quick guys you can use interchangably makes for a sweet team. The Dolphins are good with the Marino to the Marks Brothers (Duper and Clayton) combo, plus highly underrated John Offerdahl, for this blog's money the best Left Inside Linebacker in the game. The Colts are fun based on their offense only. That defense is just brutal, one of two reasons they lost the Super Bowl (the other being the 49ers). But the offensive effort they need to win is fun to apply. Patriots are just absolutely impossible, moreso than the Colts. Luckily they faced the Bears in the Super Bowl. For some reason, Pun City just hates the Tecmo Jets. They weren't good in the 1990s, and they drafted poorly, and they were from New York. That's just insurmountable in this blog's book.

AFC Central

1. Oilers
2. Steelers
3. Bengals
4. Browns

Oilers are the greatest show on Tecmo turf. Add awesome Ray Childress on defense, and you've got a fun team to play with. Additionally, Lorenzo White sucks so you don't even have to try to run with them, just use their 4 awesome pass plays over and over. Steelers really are rough but having Dwight Stone, a top-2 kick returner on Tecmo, and Greg Lloyd, a more than serviceable linebacker, makes for a reasonably good team even if they have no offense. The Bengals have a very tricky playbook when you're playing against them, this is helpful against other humans. James Francis is an underrated linebacker also. Browns are good enough to win with, but nothing is too amazing about them winning. Even though they suck, they were a real life playoff team in 1989 with the same core of players, so it doesn't come off as very impressive. Too thankless to like playing with them.

AFC West

1. Chiefs
2. Seahawks
3. Raiders
4. Chargers
5. Broncos

This blog grew up going to the Chiefs' training camp, and having Christian Okoye and Derrick Thomas on the same team, plus a solid passing attack, just makes for a good bit of fun. The Seahawks are another all-pass, no-run, no-defense team, except they can consistently win since they have a sweet passing playbook. The Raiders are amazing, almost a little too easy to win with though, even though everyone should be able to use Tecmo Bo at some point in their life. Marion Butts makes the Chargers pretty cool, given they have 3 running plays for him and he is somewhat of a one-man offense, though Billy Joe Tolliver's bullet throws are also amusing. The Broncos are actually a great deal of fun, they'd probably be 1st in the AFC East, but this is a sweet division. John Elway being waaaaay worse than in real life and Bobby Humphrey only having two rushing plays ends up knocking Denver behind the Chargers, but barely.

So there you are, this blog's favorites in the AFC. (And least favorites, for that matter). Thoughts for the week: Go Rockies and congratulations to Jamie and Travis!

Big Girls Don't Cry: The Slideshow!

Haven't done a hyperlink translation in a looooong time, so here we go. Pun City decided to shorten this one up by making longer links this time, it way shortened the writing process and might actually be easier to follow now. This translation is explaining exactly what Fergie meant when she wrote "Big Girls Don't Cry." Enjoy!

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da

Midnight Madness: Now Served Between 7 and 10

Pun City was visiting New Glarus, WI earlier this week with limited interweb access so as a result there was no post. Sorry for the lack of notice, this blog is sure that in excess of 1 Tuesday night was ruined.

As a result of being gone for so long and not having much prep time, Pun City is going to draw up a short preview of its upcoming weekend, which will be the opening practice for college basketball teams across the country.

On an action-packed Friday night, Pun City plans to drive to Madison for Wisconsin's opening practice. Work ends at 4:30, drive takes roughly 1 hour and 45 minutes. Picking up Pun City's grandma so she can take in the festivities alongside Pun City. Hopefully catching some decent action and a good preview of the season to come. Most likely not getting any autographs since this blog's supply of Wisconsin trading cards has dwindled over the last couple season-ticketless years. In any case, hoping to get a good hour of watching in before taking off.

The goal is to make it back to Milwaukee in time for UW-Milwaukee's opening practice, where players will be introduced at 10:00 PM. Hopefully the drive is only about 1 hour and 30 minutes by that time of night, and also hopefully Pun City is able to meet up with a couple friends that are also hoops fans.

Saturday night, tragically, Pun City's buddy has a bachelor party. This is very poorly timed given that Marquette has their first open practice that day. With the bachelor party starting at 7:30 PM though, Pun City does have an opportunity. Gates open at 6:45 and free shirts are being distributed to all attendees. It's a freakin' sweet shirt, so this blog is going to make a run at it even though this blog is going to have to miss the practice. Then a dead sprint up to Sheboygan to play some laser tag or hit in a batting cage with some friends.

Probably a little more intense than needed, but it's been since April that this blog has had any dose of College Basketball, so it's time to start mainlining it!

Fast Food: Rank Something Different

Dairy Queen is a fast-food chain based in Minneapolis, MN. Their first store opened in Joliet, IL in 1940. While primarily known for their ice cream treats, DQ fits the necessary qualifications for review in this blog: 1. Chain restaurant. 2. Drive-thru. 3. Serve cheeseburgers. 4. Don't have to call ahead to get a reasonably fast meal.

Pros: A fantastic place for ice cream. Pun City will often trek there just for a Blizzard, which is good stuff. Ice cream cakes are pretty decent also, pretty good soda selection, offering Wild Cherry Pepsi, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, and Mug Root Beer, among others. (This blog seems to recall Pibb Xtra being available at some locations, in addition to Cherry Coke). Lots of locations near this blog, very convenient in that respect. The chicken finger basket is a classic, the Texas Toast included isn't very expensive for them, but extremely tasty with the butter they put on it. Very filling also, the chicken and fries really make for a big meal. Offering chili dogs is a good move, they've checked that one off the list. Service has been very good all around in this blog's experience. In summer, DQs are usually ice cold, which is nice. French fries are very good, usually include a good amount of salt. With over 5700 locations, Dairy Queen is usually convenient.

Cons: Very underwhelming cheeseburgers. The meat, while a generous portion, is a lower grade than this blog prefers. This is a disappointment for a place that sells the combo of burgers and ice cream, usually you can't go wrong with that combo. Lots of extra condiments that you have to let them know to remove, not used to special orders for that and the service will suffer when you make these requests. Some DQ locations have limited menus, while in Atlantic City, this blog encountered one of these that only served BBQ beef and chili for their "hot eats." Perhaps because of the amount of sugar and dairy served, Pun City has found most DQ locations to be very sticky. It also seems like workers have a hard time keeping up with all of the customer's spills. In the winter, DQs are usually ice cold, which is uncomfortable.

Burger-Only Ranking: 4 out of 10 Fryers. Buns are good, less standard condiments, better meat, and this would move up a lot. Also, less emphasis on crazy fireburgers and crap like that, just hone in on a good regular burger. It doesn't even have to be great, just solid and people will go to DQ over better burger purveyors just because they can have some good ice cream for dessert at Dairy Queen.

Overall Ranking: 6 out of 10 Fryers. Given the reasonably-priced, quality ice cream, in addition to the chicken and chili dog options, the lack of a good burger is somewhat forgiveable. Room for improvement on cleanliness, pricing could be a little better in general, consistently offering 3 dark non-diet sodas would also add some value. It's rare when a Dairy Queen ever has a cool "theme" inside, it'd be nice to see some character in these. Also, using styrofoam would be a good way to help keep food at optimal temperatures without freezing all of the customers.

Want to see how Dairy Queen stacks up against the competition? Check out these other Fast-Food Reviews courtesy of Pun City:

Bullets
Burger King
Culver's
In-N-Out Burger
Jack In The Box
McDonald's
Rally's
Sonic Drive-In
Wendy's
White Castle