Tecmo Super Favorites: AFC

Good evening. Pun City was at an open practice for UWM tonight so there isn't a great deal of time here. But this blog does some alright work under pressure.

In a perfect world, Pun City would have drawn up a scouting report on how to defeat a specific team in Tecmo Super Bowl, as the first part in a 28-part series. This will wait for another day, Pun City needs to put some good effort into this, some pictures and bigtime research are in order for that.

In place of that, Pun City is going to rank teams in each Tecmo Super Bowl division, from the most preferred to play with, to the least-preferred. For tonight, the AFC:

AFC East

1. Bills
2. Dolphins
3. Colts
4. Patriots
5. Jets

The Bills, while very easy to win with, are mainly fun due to all-purpose monster Thurman Thomas. Three rushing plays with him plus a great receiver, not to mention the Bills' tough defense with about 4 quick guys you can use interchangably makes for a sweet team. The Dolphins are good with the Marino to the Marks Brothers (Duper and Clayton) combo, plus highly underrated John Offerdahl, for this blog's money the best Left Inside Linebacker in the game. The Colts are fun based on their offense only. That defense is just brutal, one of two reasons they lost the Super Bowl (the other being the 49ers). But the offensive effort they need to win is fun to apply. Patriots are just absolutely impossible, moreso than the Colts. Luckily they faced the Bears in the Super Bowl. For some reason, Pun City just hates the Tecmo Jets. They weren't good in the 1990s, and they drafted poorly, and they were from New York. That's just insurmountable in this blog's book.

AFC Central

1. Oilers
2. Steelers
3. Bengals
4. Browns

Oilers are the greatest show on Tecmo turf. Add awesome Ray Childress on defense, and you've got a fun team to play with. Additionally, Lorenzo White sucks so you don't even have to try to run with them, just use their 4 awesome pass plays over and over. Steelers really are rough but having Dwight Stone, a top-2 kick returner on Tecmo, and Greg Lloyd, a more than serviceable linebacker, makes for a reasonably good team even if they have no offense. The Bengals have a very tricky playbook when you're playing against them, this is helpful against other humans. James Francis is an underrated linebacker also. Browns are good enough to win with, but nothing is too amazing about them winning. Even though they suck, they were a real life playoff team in 1989 with the same core of players, so it doesn't come off as very impressive. Too thankless to like playing with them.

AFC West

1. Chiefs
2. Seahawks
3. Raiders
4. Chargers
5. Broncos

This blog grew up going to the Chiefs' training camp, and having Christian Okoye and Derrick Thomas on the same team, plus a solid passing attack, just makes for a good bit of fun. The Seahawks are another all-pass, no-run, no-defense team, except they can consistently win since they have a sweet passing playbook. The Raiders are amazing, almost a little too easy to win with though, even though everyone should be able to use Tecmo Bo at some point in their life. Marion Butts makes the Chargers pretty cool, given they have 3 running plays for him and he is somewhat of a one-man offense, though Billy Joe Tolliver's bullet throws are also amusing. The Broncos are actually a great deal of fun, they'd probably be 1st in the AFC East, but this is a sweet division. John Elway being waaaaay worse than in real life and Bobby Humphrey only having two rushing plays ends up knocking Denver behind the Chargers, but barely.

So there you are, this blog's favorites in the AFC. (And least favorites, for that matter). Thoughts for the week: Go Rockies and congratulations to Jamie and Travis!