Tuesday, November 06, 2007

How To Stop the Super Tecmo Bears

Good evening, sorry about the lacking posts last week, it was a busy one. This is the first post in hopefully a series dedicated to defending against/effectively using each playbook in Tecmo Super Bowl. The first team Pun City has chosen to profile is the Chicago Bears. Here goes.For the purposes of this post, we're going to label each of the plays above. Top row is A, B, C, and D. Bottom row is 1, 2, 3, and 4.



Defending when playing the computer: The Bears are actually really a tough nut to crack here. Normally, Pun City likes to choose a play that will go in one direction, so that it would be able to choose a defender that can defend the other direction. For instance, one could choose Play 1 and take a defender near the top of the screen, thus neutralizing Play C because you know that your drones have 1 covered. This is the problem with the Bears though. Because Neal Anderson is such an effective runner (dude can destroy you), you really have to be extra cautious here. All things considered, Pun City would not recommend choosing either Play C or Play 1. Pun City would actually choose Play A. The reasoning behind this is as follows: First off, Jim Harbaugh is a pathetic quarterback in the game. If he beats you, they earned it. Secondly, Play A is very easily devastating, Anderson breaks that thing for huge gains a lot. Thirdly, the other three running plays are at least containable without having called them. As far as positioning, when the formation is the one in Plays A, D, and 2; this blog would choose one of the middle linebackers, then run between the guard and the center in an effort to stop Play D and also get to the quarterback for play 2 (as you know, you called play A, so that's neutralized). When the formation is the one from B, C, and 1, this blog would take the upper linebacker (Right as listed on the game). This way you can take away Play C. You're a little susceptible to Plays B and 1, but Play B doesn't usually go for a ton of yards since Muster is slow, and Play 1 usually fails because Harbaugh sucks (as do the Bears receivers). For the formation in Plays 3 and 4, you are kinda screwed having picked Play A. But, you're only screwed insomuch as Jim Harbaugh is able to complete a pass. So, maybe 50% of the time for an average of about 8 yards. With the formation in Plays 3 and 4, just take your best pass rusher. You know it's going to be a pass play, and you know you picked a run play, so it's just a matter of who can get to Harbaugh quickest and force him into a lousy throw.



Defending when playing a human: Definitely a lot more theoretical here. If this blog were a human, and picking plays to use against other humans, it would alternate between A, C, D, 2, 3, and 4. Play 1 takes too long to develop given the marginal benefit of the 3-route, 5-yard-route play. Play B isn't likely to work against a human since Muster isn't fast enough. The positioning ends up being the same as defensing the computer. You pretty much have to pick one of those 6 each time, hopefully basing each choice on the down and distance. This playbook is very tough to stop given the variety of plays (and speed of plays) from each formation. Fortunately, it is entirely unlikely that the pass plays will beat you like other teams' would. Pun City would place the highest priority on stopping Anderson, so plays A, C, and D would be the main ones this blog would call. Getting burned on a pass play is a tough way to lose, but your opponent will have earned it.

So that was the Tecmo Bears' playbook in a nutshell. This blog also has a new link for those of you checking the actual website. It's under "Inspirational Blog" on the sideline, a fairly cool site. But you can't see it in Facebook, so you'll have to actually check out the real live Pun City site to notice this. But enjoy, Pun City likes it so far. Over and out.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Big Girls Don't Cry: The Slideshow!

Haven't done a hyperlink translation in a looooong time, so here we go. Pun City decided to shorten this one up by making longer links this time, it way shortened the writing process and might actually be easier to follow now. This translation is explaining exactly what Fergie meant when she wrote "Big Girls Don't Cry." Enjoy!

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da

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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

High-Stepping Pizzas: You've Come To The Right Place

Pun City is back and feeling much more "above the weather" today. And at 102 degrees Farenheit, per the Walgreen's thermometer in Grafton, that's saying a lot. Let's get it started with some links.

First is a site the Marketing Sensei recommended, break.com. A lot of great videos there, this blog was a fan of this particular link:

http://www.break.com/index/urban_shoplifting.html


Pun City also stumbled across this growing site, which has a fairly comprehensive selection of commercials:

http://www.splendad.com/

Now, on to some ridiculousness. This blog often gets visitors coming from weird searches. Among these searches are such unique and varied phrases as "Pun City" (#1 out of 2 million, baby!); "commercial Ronnie Lott boy howdy" (#4 of 30,000+); and "webcamzz.com" (depends on the engine, usually top 5 of maybe 20).

Well, Pun City checks this out (Pun City is pretty self-aware for a website), and it thinks it's cool to have some poor bastards coming in here, not knowing what to expect. But this blog thought it would like to be the champ of all kinds of searches. Random searches, pointless searches, confounding and useless searches. For instance, this blog wants to be known as your source for the following:

High-stepping pizzas. This blog wants people to come here and find out relevant facts about high-stepping pizzas. People wearing pizza costumes aren't often seen high-stepping, but this blog thinks we need more of that. Pizzas, for the most part being inanimate, don't get up and high-step on their own. This blog found out that high-stepping while carrying a pizza isn't too challenging, but is way fun.

Deion Sanders, who made his name playing a couple sports and high-stepping after interceptions, also had a famous commercial where he pitched Pizza Hut with Jerry Jones. That most likely was the greatest moment for high-stepping pizzas, for this blog's money. (With the possible exception of when this blog high-stepped down its hall with a pizza last week, that was a great moment just in general world history though, so Pun City isn't sure if it qualifies).

This blog has three goals now:

Goal 1 - Find some picture of a pizza high stepping.

How about we get this guy to high-step?
This guy seems like a little bit of a pizza poser, but if this blog got him to high-step, that might tip him over to full high-stepping pizza status.
This dude's a complete idiot, no one needs to see that high-stepping.
While not a pizza, Pun City will advocate seeing this girl high-step. Or pretty much do anything, for that matter.

Goal 2 - Become the leading source for "high-stepping pizzas" on a major search engine.

There's only like 697 competitors out there, none of which have provided the type of high-stepping pizza coverage Pun City has here. The amount of high-stepping pizza coverage here puts all other websites to shame.

Goal 3 - Earn the top mark.

Pun City won't be content to just break the top 10 of "high-stepping pizza" searches. This blog's goal is to blow through the number 1 spot and have Google consider adding a number zero spot because of the dominance Pun City will eventually hold over all other high-stepping pizza "destinations."

While other seemingly inane and offbeat search keywords were considered, this blog sought out high-stepping pizzas, because Pun City sees the potential there. Pun City knows that high-stepping pizzas are one of the biggest issues facing Americans today. Pun City believes that YouTube Debate questioners should be asking Mike Gravel what he is going to do to promote the use of high-stepping pizzas in the plains, then asking Duncan Hunter how he plans to stop the scourge of high-stepping pizzas in our forests. (The correct answer to both questions, of course: Appizzament).

So now you know another tenet this blog stands for, and you can go out and spread the word to all of your friends that are seeking more information on high-stepping pizzas.

And if you get the chance, click on Pun City's link after searching for high-stepping pizzas.

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