Shuffle Off To Buffalo

Since this blog is mainly just a copycat of a bunch of other blog's ideas (come to think of it, the entire internet is like that too), Pun City decided to copy this and act as though this blog was a celebrity or something. If you were too lazy to click on the link, celebrities are interviewed and asked to comment on/explain what random songs come up on their iPod in front of the interviewer. Here goes:

Lindsay Lohan, "Disconnected"

From her first album, this blog picked up the CD (Speak) in a Sheboygan KMart while killing time waiting for its friends to arrive and host a party. It's a pretty solid song, Pun City is of the opinion that Ms. Lohan is an underrated singer. That might be a good way for her to salvage her career actually, just put out a bunch of albums and stop acting. The song isn't the best on the album (this blog prefers First), but very listenable.

Mesu Kasumai, "White Wedding (Psh Yeah Right)"

This blog was surfing the web and found a site that had a few Nintendo-inspired keyboard beats you could download for free. It didn't look like they had gotten permission from the original artists so all the titles have some offset comment like that, or rhyme with the actual title, like "Hang up the phone now" instead of "I think we're alone now". Pretty solid imitation of the original, this blog doesn't mind when these come up.

Fat Boy Slim, "Kalifornia"

Pun City bought this album after hearing a couple Fat Boy Slim songs and loving them. The whole CD (You've Come A Long Way, Baby) is really consistently good. This might actually be the worst song on the album but it's still a good exhibition of Mr. Slim's skills. It goes a little long, (almost 6:00), but if you're in the right mood it's alright. Not sure what the message of the song is, most likely some type of drug-related topic but Pun City mainly listens for the beats.

Jay-Z, "Justify My Thug"

Pun City went out and bought The Black Album primarily due to the fact that 3 radio songs were out already, plus Jay-Z had indicated he was going to retire right after it was released. The CD actually holds up though, he got a lot of good producers on it and he's a great writer, bringing a great style to the lyrics and flow. The coolest part of this song is when he says he's the "Michael Schumacher of the rap rocka" (or something to that end). That a rap artist would have even heard of Schumacher is pretty cool, and hearing that name in a rap is pretty awesome.

Rihanna, "Don't Stop The Music"

Pun City picked up this CD (Good Girl Gone Bad) only for the song "Umbrella," which this blog knew would become extremely annoying in a short period of time. Pun City loves those type of songs. Great stuff. But this song isn't too bad, some nice tracks in the background make it pretty uptempo, this blog really can't complain. As a side note, all of these songs that have come up are producing pretty mild reactions. Pun City thinks this section of the iTunes shuffle is either the "mundane" or "run-of-the-mill" grouping.

The Lupins, "Take"

Alright, now we're getting somewhere. Like a lot of people, this blog bought the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack just because it wanted to hear the "Boomshakalaka" song that was featured in the previews and actual movie. Problem was, you couldn't tell what its title was and you just got it since it was probably one of these unheard-of songs. Well, alas, that song was nowhere to be found on the actual Soundtrack CD. All was not lost though, Take, among other songs on the CD, is a pretty good listen, providing a lot of good quotes, such as "You can have my Foghat shirt." Pun City does enjoy listening to this song, but it's probably one of those "memory" songs, where what it's associated with increases the value of the song.

Avril Lavigne, "Sk8er Boi"

This one's just a classic, very mainstream, very overplayed, extremely listenable and catchy. That's right up this blog's alley. All you have to do is say "see ya later boy" and someone's going to have that stuck in their head for the next hour, hour and a half. Plus it also talks about someone screwing up. For whatever reason, Pun City likes songs that talk about messing up or longing or stuff like that. That's just how Pun City rolls, this blog guesses.

Ace Of Base, "Cruel Summer"

Talk about a brilliant song. Ace Of Base took this song and made it their own. Pun City loves remakes, and this one is a gem. It weeded out all the crap of the original and presented this magnificent effort. Putting horns in the background, a drum machine, possibly a keytar, you can't ask for more than that. Also a song about longing, just a beauty all around. Probably in the top 25 or at least top 100 songs this blog has heard.

And there you are. That was actually pretty cool, hopefully it turned out as good as Pun City thinks it did. This blog is guessing not everyone's going to share those opinions on these songs, but that's cool, it's a free country. Over and out.

Pun City On The Defensive

Tecmo Super Bowl is often just as fun when one is on the defensive side of the ball as when one is playing offense. Three consecutive sacks setting up 4th and 42 for the offense, winning in overtime on a safety, forcing 3 fumbles in a game, all of which were brought back for touchdowns. These are great reasons for Pun City often preferring the defensive side of the ball.
This blog came to several conclusions when analyzing Tecmo defensive statistics. First off, the computer rules the Interception rankings, while Pun City rules the other metrics, mainly sack-related. There are a number of reasons behind these. Let us examine:

-Interceptions occur at an extremely higher incidence for the computer as opposed to Pun City. There are a bunch of reasons for this. Among quarterbacks with at least one attempt, the overall average number of attempts per season for each was 181.92. Pun City's average was 125.49. Pun City's average is so low because Pun City completes more passes on average (72.9% to 58.6%). More complete passes leads to more yards and less need for more passes. As we explored previously, Pun City's QBs get injured at a much higher rate than the computer, so a higher percentage of throws were made by backups. Backups aren't as good and therefore throw more interceptions. The computer isn't as good and therefore throws more interceptions. The computer plays the computer for almost all games. Pun City plays the computer for all games, but is hampered for a couple other reasons.

-Computer QBs hang on to the ball longer and are less prone to running. This leads to a ton more sacks for Pun City as compared to the computer. This also means less throws actually get made against Pun City, meaning less interceptable balls.

-Pun City normally calls running plays when defending against the computer (for a number of reasons). Anecdotally, this blog has seen evidence implying that calling pass plays leads to a higher chance of interceptions.

-Pun City calls more plays accurately than the computer. For whatever reason, the computer doesn't guess plays right very often. Even when it does, Pun City can sometimes find the open man anyway. When a play is called accurately against the computer, there is a much higher likelihood of a sack instead of an interception.

-Pun City has a sneaking suspicion that the computer makes up some phony stats for games when it plays against itself. Through 8 weeks of the attempted 8-8 season where Pun City is playing every game, the most interception return yards for one player is at 17. Interception returns both for and against Pun City are very challenging to get any significant yards on. Very suspicious that the totals just happen to be pretty high when Pun City isn't involved in the game.

So, the lessons are: humans get more sacks, computers get more interceptions.

Tecmo doesn't keep track of some awesome statistics that wouldn't be necessary in real life (due to their rarity), but are a good measure on the game. Safeties, Blocked Extra Points, and Fumble Recoveries for Touchdowns are some that Pun City can manually track without a great deal of extra effort.

A final note is the statistic of "Points Prevented." Pun City invented this stat and based it only off of Blocked FGs and Blocked Extra Points. The number is the sum of the points that would have been accumulated had the kick gone through the uprights as opposed to being blocked by the player in question. It's kind of a cool way to see how helpful a player was outside of his normal defensive statistics. With that, here we go:

Records Set By Pun City:

• Sacks: Lawrence Taylor, 99
• Fumble Recovery TDs: Tim McKyer and Lemuel Stinson, 3
• Safeties: Lawrence Taylor, 34
• Blocked Extra Points: Derrick Thomas, 8
• Blocked Field Goals: Lawrence Taylor, 4
• Points Scored: Lawrence Taylor, 68
• Points Prevented: Lawrence Taylor, 17

Records Set By The Computer:

• Interceptions: Dave Waymer, 16
• Interception Return Yards: Richard Johnson, 250
• Interception Return Avg (min. 2 Interceptions): Eugene Robinson, 55.3
• Interception TDs: 24 tied with 2

Hopefully that post was worth the wait, sorry for the delays on it. Until next time, hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut.....

Made Ya Look!

We're going to delay the post another night, Pun City compiled the stats for a sweet Tecmo blog, but it doesn't have enough time to do a write-up justice.

Please refrain from breaking kneecaps in the interim.

Thank you for your time.

Good night and godspeed.

Eggstreme Post!

Hey, full post will be delayed a night, this blog was busy for the evening.

Here's some puns to tide you over. Over easy that is:

Eggsactly how do you expect to make the grade?

With more time in the morning, your chances of eating a balanced breakfast rise eggsponetially. Much more than when you're scrambling.

Are these pans reggulation size or what?

The chicken coop is run in a very eggalitarian manner.

In order to find the best chicken feed, they've run reggression testing.

That's all Pun City's got for today, back tomorrow with a better post. Hopefully it doesn't lay an egg.

The Hardcore, Psycho, Nitro Survey In A Can!

What up. This blog knows that not all (okay, both) of you are on MySpace, which means that you don't get subjected to about 3 extra surveys a week.

This blog will occasionally partake in one of those, but Pun City figured it'd be cooler to create its own survey, instead of taking the surveys "the man" wants Pun City to take.

So here it is, feel free to jump in on the comments with your answers. Bonus points to anyone that can identify what the title's referencing:

Repost this with your answers! This survey peers deep into your soul!

1. If you were a club sandwich, how much guff would you take from two punk mail packages?

Absolutely none. Club sandwiches have proven themselves as postal experts.

2.If you were a shrimp sensation at Applebee’s, would you be sautéed, crisp fried, or fire grilled?

Personally, sautéed. Butter is awesome.

3.Who is your favorite Fantana?

Probably Sophia

4. Are you familiar with the 1-3-5 rule? If so, share a story of it being violated.

Definitely. This blog recalls in high school a math teacher was in the 2, which was probably the worst place to go, since no one else was there. Pun City went to the 5, and shortly thereafter someone else came in, and they were forced to use the 3, really a mess.

5. Whose country is this?

This is ouuuuuurrrrr country!

6. Is your love of lobster about to be indulged in more ways than you can imagine? If so, how many ways is that going to take?

Pun City doesn’t foresee this happening. That would take at least 7 ways though.

7. Can you hear me now?

Yeah, but how about in the bottom of that well?

8. What about the Red Sox?

You paint an interesting question. Obnoxious fans.

9. Which Brewers pitcher needs to be more consistent?

I don’t know, all of them?

10. Which Brewers pitcher needs to be more consistent RIGHT NOW?

Steve Woodard

11. Are you gellin’? If so, how so?

No, especially not feloniously.

12. How often do you force the vastness of your cell phone’s network into conversation?

Never, that type of jag move seems reserved for sadistic Cingular pitchmen.

13. Where’s the beef?

Far from the tofu section at Sentry.

14. What is your favorite third-world country?

Trinidad and Tobago

15. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Three

16. Did you have a color in mind?

Yes

17. Which banner does Marquette REALLY want to raise to the rafters of the Bradley Center?

Pepsi Blue and Gold Classic.

18. Would you purchase a product that was advertised as “Initially Good”? If so, what type of product?

Yes, something like A & W root beer or RC Cola

19. Which event had more historical implications for you: Chili’s Margarita Madness 2007 or The 2007 Women’s NIT?

This blog's gotta go with Chili’s Margarita Madness 2k7 on this one. The traffic jams were at least half a car deep.

Jianlian-g Story Short...

Man-yi Milwauk-yi-area readers were intrigued by the saga of Bucks number one pick Yi Jianlian. The following is Pun City's take on the situation, from beginning to end.

Jianlian yi-nitially refused to work out for the Bucks, their most recent scouting was at an yi-vent in Qatar where Jianlian's Chinese team had played. Yi-ven without having seen Jianlian in the pr-yi-ceeding couple weeks, Milwaukee took him with the 5th overall pick.

This was very un-yi-xpected. Jianlian had yi-mplied that he wasn't going to agr-yi to terms with the Bucks if they drafted him. Naturally, pand-yi-monium ensued. Yi-rroneous reports from China yi-ndicated that Jianlian would never sign with the Bucks. This threatened to become an yi-nternational incident. Commentators thought Jianlian's d-yi-mands were too much, given that only a few NBA cit-yi-es were capable of m-yi-ting his r-yi-quest of playing in an area with a s-yi-gnificant Chinese population. Was Jianlian trying to be yi-vil? There threatened to be an yi-mpasse in n-yi-gotiations.

NBA Commissioner David Stern was asked to interv-yi-ne, but like Jianlian, he was yi-vasive when asked to comment on the yi-ssue. This was going to b-yi-come a ver-yi political situation, the American and Chinese yi-conomies were both going to be yi-nfluenced by the n-yi-gotiations.

Jianlian only had a few options though.

1. B-yi-come a Buck by signing with them.

2. D-yi-mand a trade to another team, find a team willing to give the Bucks an yi-ven trade, and play for them.

3. Play in another countr-yi next year, in which case his rights would still be owned by Milwaukee, m-yi-ning he'd have the same pr-yi-dicament next yi-r.

4. Sit out an entire year, then r-yi-enter the draft next year, most likely falling b-yi-low his current value, possibly becoming yi-rrelevant in the process.

Obv-yi-ously the Bucks would pr-yi-fer option one, given the choice. They put all of their yi-fforts into convincing Jianlian to sign, yi-ven sending owner (and US Senator) Herb Kohl to m-yi-t the rookie and his jianlian-tourage.

Stunningl-yi, after s-yi-rious talks were held, the two sides reached an agr-yi-ment. Bucks management was yi-lated. Bucks fans were rel-yi-ved, as Milwaukee's first round pick hadn't been a mistake. Plus, after a few months, they'd had yi-nough. It wasn't yi-sy, but after promising Jianlian would play at l-yi-st 20 minutes a game, the Bucks got their man. Now Jianlian can only hope that he yi-clipses expectations and b-yi-comes a rook-yi of the yi-r candidate.

Man, if this blog got paid 5 cents for each one of these, it'd be making so much bread, since it'd have a pun-per-nickel. Pun Cit-yi will l-yi-ve you alone now.