Conversational American

Our topic for this evening is: Conversational Blow Outs. These are not conversations about Jonathan's TV show on Bravo. (Though, this would be possible, even likely if Jonathan was talking) This blog made up the term, to describe very one-sided conversations. The losing side of these conversation usually consists of the following string of comments: "Uh huh." "Whoa." "Nice" "There you go." "Ohh." (Nodding) "Hmm."

The other half of the conversation could be any topic. The only key to this half is that the other "participant" in the conversation can have little to no contribution on the subject. Topics that are extremely prone to conversational blow outs are: Your kids. Your cats. Any profession. Fantasy Football (though especially to non-players). Poker. Your last golf round. Microbiology. Clogged plumbing.

The truth is, just about everyone is guilty of conversational blow outs. This blog probably is most guilty when discussing college basketball, NCAA realignment, and its profession and/or its co-workers. A great service to those around you is to recognize that the blow out is underway, and nip it in the bud.

Unfortunately, this does not often take place. So here's a tip to any social miscreants that may have stumbled upon this site: One-word or zero-word responses do not indicate any degree of fascination. In reality, such responses are indications of boredom, or disinterest. This blog's only suggestion is to try and pick a topic that's either mildly universal, or previously confirmed to be of interest to your partner in conversation. At the very least, be prepared to finish the conversation early on account of partner disinterest. In the world of conversational blow outs, there really are no winners.

Alright, now that the public service announcement section of the post has been completed, on to some puns.

While lighthouses were a nice side trip to Augusta, lobster was the family's Maine attraction.

The NBDL player was feeling b-leaguered.

Given the media's pervasive nature, Janet Jackson keeping her child under wraps for 18 years was a minor miracle.

On a final note, this blog would like its homies to pour a 40 in memory of the Grafton Burger King. Rest in peace BK, you won't be forgotten.